How to be Civil at Work

How to be Civil at Work

Behind all those "Happy Holidays!" and "Happy New Years!" exchanges, does the Grinch inside of you ever lash out with a rude comment or gesture?

More often than not, incivility has costs far beyond hurt feelings because of its trickle down effects. Recent studies show that, if the boss is sharp tongued and grumpy (which might be translated as hungover), a staffer's efforting decreases after being the brunt of the boss's rude behavior. That means employees stop putting in that extra effort they might have otherwise extended, work only accordingly to job description, or worse case scenario is that a good many staffers slack off.

Recent research by Professor Christine Pearson, published in her book "The Cost of Bad Behavior," (Penguin Portfolio, 2009), found that 9,000 managers and workers surveyed believed that incivility was rampant in their workplace and that most workers left jobs because of continuing incivility. However, they rarely told their supervisor the reason they were leaving. In talking about employers, Professor Pearson said, "It's amazing how many expect their employees to treat customers with respect and how few worry about how their colleagues treat each other." Most importantly, she says, people at the top have to be willing to model civility, discipline those who behave badly and be consistent--that means never letting the superstar get away with bad behavior.

Hints for the boss, department head, supervisor:

Do understand the bottom line: The negative effects of rude behavior in the workplace impact your business.

Do be cheerful: No matter how hungover you are, or how stressed out you are about how you're going to make your alimony payment and also take your new lover to the Bahamas, don't take it out on your colleagues.
 

Do be willing to model civility: Use the courtesies "please" and "thank you" at every opportunity, and your staff will do the same.

Do treat staffers with the same respect that you expect them to treat your customers.

Don't be grumpy: Because your mood impacts your staff and that effects business.

Don't overreact: Gently reprimand those who act badly and be consistent. In other words, keep to the rules, but don't use harsh language or make threats that nobody will forget.

Don't spread stress: Stress can be catchy like a bad cold. Leave that holiday angst about your kid's expectation for the Xbox360 for your drive home.

Don't forget: Rude behavior has a negative effect in the workplace.

Hints for staff:

Do understand that the boss is as stressed-out as you are about those expectations of family members young and old. Just like you, bosses have child-care problems over the holiday vacation and money balancing problems, too.

GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLAST

To all:

Don't be rude to a colleague by ignoring a request for help.
Don't be rude by ignoring a colleague you pass in the hall.
Don't be rude by borrowing supplies without asking.
Don't be rude by gossiping about a colleague behind her back.
Don't forget to say "please" and "thank you" whenever you can.

Do be courteous and you will be pleased with the economic impact. After all, everyone this time of year is mindful of their next credit card balance and their end of the year job review. 

Didi Lorillard is a born and bred Newporter. While living in New York City for many years, she published two books, Guide New York, New York: A Counter Chic to Manhattan and Buy the Best. After raising two daughters, she moved back to Newport with her husband, the historian and author, Robert Cowley. For more inspiration and guidance on etiquette and modern manners, visit her Web site, here.