Are You a Helicopter Parent?

Are You a Helicopter Parent?

It's back to school, but are you really letting them go back? Helicopter parenting, that hover-style of being overly involved in your child's life, has permeated family and classroom culture in local schools as well as colleges, where parents are so enmeshed that they become 'Velcro' parents and won't leave the campus. Are you on your way to helicopter status? Take our quiz for parents of pre-college kids and see if you're at risk:

1. The teacher emails to say your child has been "disruptive" in class. You: 
A: Tell the teacher she must have it all wrong.
B: Call the teacher for insight into what might be causing the behavior. You get off the phone, talk with your child about it. Then you make an appointment to talk with the guidance counselor about next steps.
C: Tell your child to just behave. How hard could it be?

A: Helicopter demerit; B: Good call; C: Back to the 1950s for you.

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2. When your child brings home a poor grade, you:
A: Run directly to the phone to call the teacher. When she doesn’t answer, you call the principal.
B: Talk with your child about the grade and contact the teacher to discuss ways you can help your child improve her academic performance.
C: Yell and scream at your child and tell her that if she doesn’t bring up her grade, she’ll be grounded.

A: Rotor alert; B: It's appropriate to get guidance on support at home; C: Have you watched Madmen lately?

3. Your child forgot his math book at school again. You:
A: Sigh and drive him to school to get it. What choice do you have?
B: Let him deal with the consequences and remind him that the last time this happened, you told him you wouldn’t drive him to get the book if he left it behind again.
C: Tell him he’s hopeless and will probably end up failing the class.

A: Cue the theme from M*A*S*H; B: Bravo; C: Shame.

4. Your 2nd grader has to make a diorama featuring a dinosaur for her science project. You:
A: Find her an empty shoebox, but that’s all the help you give. After all, it’s her project, not yours.
B: Let her play outside while you sculpt the dinosaurs and paint the background scenery. What was the teacher thinking, assigning such a hard project to a bunch of 7-year-olds?
C: Help your child read over the instructions from the teacher, take her to the library and the crafts store for resources and materials, help her get organized, and provide technical support.

A: Old school, but a little distant; B: Mr. Trump, your helicopter is here; C: Well done.

5. At parent-teacher conferences, you:
A: Usually don’t bother going. You've been to one...
B: Prepare a list of questions ahead of time to make the best use of your time with the teacher.
C: Book the last appointment of the day - you can get more time... there's never really enough scheduled.

A: Don't expect to be thanked in the Academy Award speech; B: Yes - the conferences are short, and this kind of preparation does everyone a big favor; C: Incoming.

6. You work full time and are unable to volunteer in school during the day. You:
A: Take a few personal days each year to attend special school events.
B: Go to as many PTO meetings as possible to stay abreast of what’s happening at the school and find volunteer opportunities that don’t require you to be available during the day.
C: Volunteer to put together the classroom newsletter because you can do it at night and it’s a way to stay up to date on what’s happening in the classroom.

All of the above! One of the best cures for helicoptering is playing an appropriate rule at your child's school. Volunteer, help out, and keep up to speed on events. Then stop texting, hovering, and doing your kid's work for them. You'll all be happier when it's time to go off to college.